[As a tester]
Well y'all, ya know, its all very good and well to have a reel good set of bloo-prints to build this here chookshed. But ya know what I reckon? I aint seen one blooprint set yet that matches the construction, 'cept for the set used by the builder himself and covered in pencil, crayon, mud and chickensh*t.
[/As a tester]
Now, therein lies the crutch of the problem.

Between the dream (SRS) and the reality (the software delivered) lies a devil ... time. And over time, things change. Things like priorities, costs, estimates, budgets the weather, the government, decisions on what "I" really meant as "that requirement" and all those things that were "givens" at the start of the project ... like the delivery platform for instance. (Ed: tautology?) Maybe even things like "consistency" change, who knows?
[As a test manager]
Dramatis personnae
Pete (an esquire, commanding a view of his quarter acre)
Pam (Pete's significant other)
Bob (a builder)
Act I, Scene I : Pete's Kitchen, one Saturdee arvo
(FX) Dialtone, digital dialing then ringtone (off)
Pete: Aw, g'day Bob, I wan'cha to build me a chook shed
Bob (O/S): Yeah? No probs, Pete. How big?
Pete: Ooh, about 16 foot by twelve foot.
Bob: Yeah OK, I'll come round tomorra about lunchtime and give ya a quote.
Pete: OK mate, see ya then.
Bob: OK
FX: (Quick fade)
Act I, Scene II : Pete's backyard, "tomorow".
Bob: So, where do ya want the shed Pete?
Pete: Over here, near the back door.
Bob: Yeah OK. By the way, how many chooks ya got?
Pete: 'bout a dozen, I s'pose.
Bob: Well, I suppose we'll have to get Council permission then. But that shouldn't be too much of a problem. I mean, there's no construction diffo's. By the way, what's that they're building next door?
Pete: Aarr, dunno. I think he's a vet or sumthing.
Bob: Yarr OK, anyway I'll get young Bob to knock up a cupla drawin's to go to tha Council. Should only take 'im a cuppla days or so. I reckon we can knock this off for, say, eight or nine hundred bucks or so.
Pete: Ar, you beaudy! That's what I reckoned, too. Let me know when you can start.
FX: Fade out with upbeat theme.
Act II, Scene I (some weeks later) : Pete's kitchen
FX: (O/S theme suggesting distant storm clouds, fade in to ..)
Pam: (Drumming fingernails on formica bench top) You! Just what exactly, are you doing. What and why the hell are we spending money on Bob the builder! Our kid's need braces, I'm still driving that bomb, and the neighbours are complaining about Bob's kid continually parking his ute on their lawn, what is he doing here anyway.
Pete: He's just measuring up the block for the chookshed.
Pam: The chookshed, the damn chook shed, all I asked you was to get off your damn arse away from the footy and go to the supermarket and get a dozen eggs for the kid's lunches. What ever possessed you to decide we needed a chookshed. Jeesurs can't you just for once understand that we are trying to run a family here!
FX: Phone rings
Pete: Got it, yeah hello.
Bob: (O/S) G'day Pete. We got a little problem with th' shed. It looks like we gotta put in extra drainage to satisfy the Council. And it looks like we oughta move it away from the kitchen an' over in front of the pool. But I reckon that we should be sweet if we don't strike any other problems.
...
By the way mate, I'm gonna have t' get a bit of a pump from ya on this project, can ya give us a advance of a cuppla grand? There's a lot of people I need to keep onside to get this one through?
Act II, Scene II (in the front yard, outside Pete's house. (In the driveway as a matter of fact))
Pam: C'mon kids get ina car!
FX: Mobile phone ringing, dog barking, 12225db plane landing overhead
Pete: (into phone) Yeah what?
Bob: G'day mate, listen.
Bob: I reckon we gona have to do something about those foxes.
Pete: What "cloudy" foxes?
Bob: Well, ya know that there's been a ...
FX: 6.23^10db jet engine sound
Bob: ... so I reckon we're going to ha' to reee-assess the basic safety precautions ...
FX: several dozen Challenger launches combined with the dog biting child number three.
Bob: so, you OK with that?
Pete: OK with what? Oh sh*t I forgot to get that "Section 3" you needed, .. never mind, I'll call you tomorrow. By the way, we're still going with your $800 price aren't we?
FX: Something like Krakatoa exploding, Mercury's orbit intersecting our's or at least a small supernova.
Bob: ... so you OK with that too?
Pete: Listen, I'll have to call you in the morning. Don't do anything until then, OK?
FX: Sound of dead phone connection (

)
Act III, Scene I (many weeks later)
FX: (O/S theme suggesting an evil or at least very bad news, say a courtroom as the judge dons the black kerchief)
.... some may call me a cynic :-)
Act III, Scene MCLXIII
FX: Fade in to reprise of original kitchen scene with Dialtone, digital dialing then ringtone (off)
Pete: Aw, g'day Bob, I wan'cha to build me a chook shed
Bob (O/S): Yeah? No probs, Pete. How big?
Pete: Ooh, about 16 foot by twelve foot.
Bob: Yeah, no problems mate. I'll get our young Julia to drop round tomorra about lunchtme and get the paperwork started, I reckon we'll have it done come Michealmas. By the way, 'ow much d'ya reckon ya can pay for this project.
FX: Fade ... to black, ... or white, ... or just another day.
merry Hanukah
bruce
p.s. I may revise this.
Revision the first: Yes I know it's obtuse
Revision the second: Act II Scene II